I dream of living in a clutter free household with everything within it being beautiful or useful. Perhaps very occasionally even sentimental, but certainly all surfaces would be clear and as I surveyed any room it’s appearance would make me feel tranquil.
Right now of course, I could not be further from such a state of affairs. As I look around the room I see shoes, the contents of a changing bag, sheets of paper and various bags strewn across the floor. That is before we get to what is on the furniture, or so help me, what lies within our cupboards! Especially my pet hate, clothes, shoes and toys that the children have grown out of!
What to do? Give them away to charity or sell them because I need the money? Have I really got the time to list them on Ebay though and will it be financially worthwhile for me to do, assuming that said items sell at all?
This was the gist of a conversation with a school run Gran as I walked to work the other day, as she had highlighted a pile of clothes that her grandchildren had grown out of to their mother. What had she done with all of the clothes that her children grew out of when they were younger, I asked, to which she had the following very interesting reply:
- When her children were little there were few high street shops to buy children’s clothes and shoes from, such as Ladybird and Clarks and said items were not cheap so you bought fewer of them.
- People didn’t have access to computers like we do today so their was no selling of items on Ebay, you just passed quality items onto a friend with a younger child of the same sex as yours. In the same way, other friends passed things on to you.
- Often furniture e.g. cots, prams and other higher ticket items were passed through families, bought as gifts or could be picked up cheaply from an advert in the local shop window or newspaper.
I am never one to think that those of the past had it better or easier, after all, I wasn’t there, but that is not to say that there isn’t still an awful lot we can take as lessons from the past to make our own lives simpler and easier. I may still Ebay a couple of high end items, but the clothes purchased will be fewer in number and, when finished with, will be passed on to friends!
I AM LOVING THIS BOOK! Not because it’s working wonders for my marriage. Probably completely the opposite! And yes Dear, I know you will be reading this! Steal yourself and resolve to stay married beyond the end of the book and then read it from cover to cover. I am only a few chapters in, but my, have a good few things been explained to me already! Like why I turned into Mrs Mop the second I got a ring on my finger. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry and yes I am ashamed to say putting away other half’s underwear into his chest of drawers! This despite the fact that we both worked full time back then. According to Susan Maushart this is perfectly normal behaviour. For herself included and she knew far better than I did!
The following are some of my wake up calls so far:
- that marriage will absolutely make a difference to your relationship and that some of it will be negative
- that the list of wifework listed on p.10 would make me both laugh and cry, not necessarily in healthy proportions
- that there are 3 types of marriage – His, Hers and The Children’s and that the better Her marriage experience is the worse it will be for the other 2 types of marriage involved
- that in my zeal to show I can do anything, it will often feel as though I do everything
- and that the second we had children our marriage stopped being a date!
Did I mention that I am still on chapter 1?
Really though, as much as I love being married and adore being a mother, there was a me too. Reading this book is helping the ‘me’ now and the ‘me’ back then to get re-acquainted.
Love ya hon! Especially because YOU are going to read the book next!
On the way back from school run chatted with a friend who starts a new job next week. She was saying how she needs new make-up, shoes and outfits before starting, especially having been out of the workplace for so long.
Here’s the rub though – with what money? First, she hasn’t been paid yet, no surprise really as she hasn’t started work! Secondly THE MONEY IS NEEDED FOR OTHER THINGS! Note the word need. House repairs, children’s needs, furnishings etc. All the things that the family had to do without so that Mum could be there when the children were home from school.
The fact is though that the needs will still be there. Always! At the end of your life you will still have needs. So go out, buy the make-up, nice lunch, trip to the theatre or whatever it is that floats your boat. Don’t go into debt over it (or at least have a workable plan for repaying it!) but keep a sense of proportion. Salary ain’t just for the bills! Enjoy.