If you don’t ask you won’t get!
Someone I know wants to go to an event with her Other Half. So far so good. Only they haven’t gotten along relationally for some time and seem like two singles living under the same roof, parenting their children. Call me cupid, but as the woman in the situation spoke of her Other Half, I suspected that the feelings were not nearly as over as she thought they were. Little stirrer that I am, in my own way I pointed this out.
Another time, another conversation and obviously much thought has gone on in my absence. Now there is an event that the woman would like to go to. This is where things would have remained. She wants to go, he has an invite, without further action he will be going alone, or not at all!
More intervention and brave woman that she is becoming, she tells her Other Half she would like to go. His response? He is not sure whether or not he is going yet…Cold! You tried, give up right? Wrong! That wasn’t a No! That was a, I’m hurt, we haven’t been getting along, and I am not taking you to my works do, so that you can look around the room and find Mr Next!
So now, we are working on letting Him know that there will be no Mr Next and that actually she would very much like to go to the event with Him and spend some quality time together, away from the children together.
No one is a mind reader. No matter what stage of a relationship you are in, if there is something you would like, you need to ask. If they say no, then ask why and start to negotiate. But, they just might say yes, even if it is eventually!
You have to read this post. Why? Where to start… In my case I came across it from a Mumsnet referral when the writer won an award for her blog. It broke my heart. It made me feel. It made me want to cry and it made me want to give. Where was the paypal button that would have meant I could send money which would make life just a little easier for the writer and her son?
Looking around the blog a little more, time has thankfully made things better for Jack and her boy. She now has steady employment, a book deal, awards to her name and I presume more disposable income. For the place that she has left though there will be so many others just like her. Just not as passionate, vocal or gifted in writing perhaps.
I needed to see this blog to get in touch with some of my emotions again. Working 3 jobs, plus preparation time, my life right now feels chaotic and unbalanced and I am only getting through by switching feelings off and battling on. As heart-breaking as the piece of writing was, it reminds me how much I have to be grateful for, but more importantly it turns my heart back to the plight of others and making things better for them, rather than just making life wonderful for me.