If I haven’t mentioned this before it is a fabulous book. One for all women to go out and purchase a copy, read it then lend it to their husbands and then pass it on as a legacy to their daughters. So far I have only borrowed mine from a library, but when funds permit, the book will be mine!
I was thinking about it today as I helped put up adverts for the Christmas Fayre on Saturday, for the PTA. I was alongside a very interesting woman, who in a past life, as she put it, had worked in film promotions for 20th century fox. According to her what she used to do wasn’t very glamorous, but I stopped believing her when she mentioned doing work for Tom Cruise! Name dropping aside, the job she had been in carried more money, glamour, status and interest than what she did now – book-keeping for a family relative, but had to be given up when she had children!
Why? Why is it always us women who make the career sacrifices if we don’t want our children to be in childcare more than they are with family? Why can’t we all agree that Mum can be off a year to breastfeed baby (if she is breastfeeding for a year, if not shorten this time accordingly) and then maybe Mum and Dad work 4 days so children are only in childcare for 3?
Why is it that so often Dad goes back to work full-time and continues to grow his career, salary and status, whilst Mum drops to 3 days and is barely noticed in what she does any more, essentially plugging the gaps that those more important in the workplace don’t wish to fill!
Like the book says, I am going to lean in when I find something I want to do, and regarding Little Lady I shall teach her all of this from the outset so that she doesn’t get blindsided and bored to tears like so many of her female elders have!
Other Half, yes that man who is supposed to love me the most next to my Mother and children and be my biggest cheerleader, has complained because I haven’t written a blog about something he said that I foolishly told him I would write a blog about. He is not a patient person, instead being one of life’s high achievers. If he says he will do something, it gets done at the earliest opportunity. Usually within 24 hours. I know – nightmare. Hence the moaning at me!
I suppose I shouldn’t complain really, after all, he is reading what I write and I’m guessing he must like it! It did make me remember though, that this blog is to share with others what I know and find out about how’ Life’ is done and being as busy as I am right now that just isn’t happening often enough.
So sorry folks, I know that I haven’t been blogging nearly as often as I used to, but that is having 3 jobs, a family to look after and a house to run for you. Whenever anyone asks how it is going, I tell them I am in nervous breakdown territory, but that by God’s grace I should make it! At the moment the 3 jobs should end in July which will provide me with the opportunity to write more regularly again.
Suffice to say, you are never far from my thoughts as I come across life lessons that I know you will want shared with you. In the meantime, like my Mother-in-law always says, I am doing what I can when I can. Bear with me! Other Half, that includes you!
No posts for a couple of days as little man has been unwell this week and off of nursery for 3 days. Cleaning, keeping on top of the household accounts, other admin and blogging all went out of the window as I spent all my time seeing to his every demand. Zumba paid the price today too as I was just too tired!
Despite being so behind on everything though, I remember what my Mother-In-Law once said to me after the birth of little lady about doing what you can, when you can, so that is what I shall now do. Wash up, quickly vac and get lots of the posts written that have been going through my head over the last few days. I don’t have to publish them all today and next time something happens to stop me blogging, hopefully you won’t even notice!
Being a one income household, we could always do with more money. Repairs, things for the kids, things for us, things for others and the home – all compete for our finances and attention. So, having taken on roles such as tutor and nanny recently to help out, you would think that the other half would be happy. After all, we should be able to go on holiday this year.
You would be wrong however! The issue has now become less about me bringing in a second income and more about us sticking within the confines of the one that we have! That brings up a whole different discussion, but why the clarification on his part? CHANGE. My new roles affect him, his time and what he is able to do in our home. The same for me, but I was willing to make the trade off because I 1) enjoyed the work and 2) liked the extra income that should buy us a holiday. Yes all the other things will have to wait as I am choosing sun over repairs!
For hubby though the trade off is not worth it. He would rather have less money and be able to do what he likes, when he likes in his own home. Understandable really as his work is outside of the home making his home a supposed place of refuge. Being at home with the children, any work that enables me to still be there for them is a source of stimulation and monetary worth. After all no 0ne pays you to be a mum.
So how to square the circle? Fortunately for the other half, both roles are temporary. Any that involve working from home in future, such as this blog, won’t affect him and all being well I shall be returning to part-time work outside the home.
New boundaries are now clear and shall be kept within for the future. No you can’t have it all, but you can find ways to have what is important to you. He’ll get his castle back whilst I keep those holidays coming!